This year has been a fairly challenging one for me, and (very) often I’ve felt that I’m just not fun anymore.
There’s been lot of stress, a lot of anxiety and a lot of worrying. And quite often, I’ve decided to just stay home. Some days just getting groceries was a challenge. That went on on and off since the year started.
But then a magical thing happened. My best friend decided to take a long weekend, and come for a visit. And as much as I love seeing her, I have to admit I was a bit afraid “it wasn’t the best time.”
Which is ironic, because it turned out it was exactly the right time, the best time for her to come visit. Because we did stuff. I left the house. We laughed. A LOT. We ate ice cream. We reminesced.
I came to Canada when I was 12 years old. And one of the first “songs” I learned in English goes like this:
“make new friends, but keep the old.
One is silver and the other gold.”
I have no idea where it came from. But it really rings true today. When you have a friend who’s known you for decades, you have someone who knows you well. Someone who knows when you’re down, and when you need cheering. You have someone you share history with. Someone who knows exactly the right story to make laugh until you pee your pants.
Last weekend I got to spend some real quality time with R. And magically, she reminded of how fun I used to be. How I used to laugh at all her silly stories and jokes. And how we’d finish each other’s sentences, and know exactly the story/person/place the other was referring to. It was like 3 days of therapy that left me feeling like I was back to my old self
I think there’s a whole bunch of lessons here.:
- next time I feel stressed and like I’m not my usual self, I’ll call my best friend and arrange a short visit if possible.
- I’ll stop saying no to every fun thing...and leave the house once in a while.
- I’ll remind myself that I am fun. That I am funny.
- But most importantly, I’ll give myself a break. And the gift of reaching out and connecting with old friends.
Being middle-aged definitely comes with its challenges. Some days it definitely feels like the good times are behind me. It’s like this song by Miley Cyrus was written just for you. Check it out, and see what you think:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZ3XMOdOdKM
But remember: you don’t have to stop having fun just because you’re a real adult now. I’m not planning on it. I’m planning on scheduling more fun.