Friendship over the long haul: the tough times

Connecting means that friendships will form over time. Some of those will last a lifetime. Some will last a season. But they’ll all be special.

I’m at an age where I’ve made some wonderful friends and I’ve built a community. I am surrounded by wonderful family and friends. This has taken years. I’m a middle-aged woman, and I’m proud to say some of my friendships are decades old.

And while that’s a wonderful thing, it comes with a price. Because my friends and I are at an age where the tough times are arriving. The sad milestones are happening.

A few of my friends have now lost their parents. A few others are caring for elderly parents, or have the tough decision to move them into a senior facility. A couple of friends have been visited by Alzheimer’s.

Getting older means having to deal with some of life’s harder events. A number of my friends are now divorced or divorcing. Without a doubt, when you’re 50, there’s challenges that are harder to bear than when you’re 25.

But the one good thing about this stage in life is the friendships that are there to help us cope.

I remember the first one of my close group of friends lost a parent. We all rushed to southern Ontario to comfort her, support her, and be with each other. Even the husbands came. I don’t remember ever crying so much in front of them.

Friendships that last years, and sometimes decades, are meaningful. When you cultivate these friendships you’re building a support system. You’re building the circle of friends that you can lean on. And you will need them. 

As I get comfortable with middle age I've learned to ask for help. And I've also learned that I need to be there for my friends, when they need a shoulder to lean on. We need to support each other. 

This month is Women's History Month. I'd like to encourage you to be there for the women in your life. Be present, be nosey. Are some of your girlfriends struggling? Are they trying to cope on their own, not wanting to "burden" anyone? Because they may really need you to step up and help them through a difficult season. 

Be there for them.