You have a busy life. How do you make time for friendships?

(PART ONE)

I’m in my fifties. My friends are in a variety of age groups, but we all have one thing in common:

Everyone is busy. All of us have a lot on the go.

Living in the twenty-first century is a fast-paced thing. And yet most of us understand and feel that maintaining friendships is a pretty  important thing. But when there’s so many demands on our time, how do we MAKE time for friends? How do we keep the fires of friendship burning?

With personal experience and a little digging, I’ve found a few ways to make it work. I hope these will spark your interest, and help you stay connected.

Communication: TALK about your schedules.
Being upfront about your availability helps friends understand your situation. Let them know when you’re busy. You may have to schedule events weeks in advance. And you’ll have to be ok with that. Which leads to...

Be flexible and be understanding
My best friend and I have had one rule for decades: when we’re on the phone, if one of us has to hang up, she is free to say “I gotta go” and can hang up immediately. No guilt. No bad feelings. Because we know stuff comes up. And because we know we’ll chat again soon.

The above rule works for me; maybe you need a similar rule. Maybe you need a different one. Whatever your “rule” may be, make sure it works for YOU.

Celebrate milestones
Make an effort to acknowledge your friends’ milestones—birthdays, promotions, or personal achievements. We’re all busy; forgetting your best friend’s birthday because you “had to work” isn’t much of an excuse. You may have to set up an alarm on your phone to remind you to call her. Or mail her a card :-)

Establish a routine for connecting
Set up a specific routine for connecting. In my case, I have a friend in Germany, so there’s a 6 hour difference. That means we’ve prearranged to video chat on Sundays, for me at 1 pm, for her at 7pm. Yes, you have to schedule. Again, Google calendar can be a real help with that....as can alarms in your phone. 

Use technology to your advantage
Use group chats (like WhatsApp), social media, or text threads to connect with multiple friends at once. I’m part of several “text groups” with different groups of friends. We can all stay in touch this way, plan get-togethers, and send each other funny memes. And it can be a lot of fun!

I hope these have been helpful. And I hope you enjoy setting up “dates” with your friends and loved ones.